A New York Reminiscence

26 September 2000. My 4th week here and things have settled down slightly with the minister's departure last Thursday after an almost 3 weeks stay with a hectic full programme. Apart from the dozens of scheduled UN meetings, there were some 30 other side meetings with his foreign counterparts and other organizations (see how popular Malaysia is!). My team and I worked all day Wednesday till 3 am Thursday to finish the reports of the meetings - all 75 pages of it. Fortunately he was happy with it.

I sat in many meetings but one memorable one was a round table session chaired by Hugo Chavez and attended by many world personalities including Fidel Castro who at some point was chastised by Chavez! I will never forget how a bored Prince Albert of Monaco at some point after having fiddled with his unused microphone, turned around and looking at my direction made some snorting noises with his nose! Most unroyal I thought!!!

Our PM was here too for a few days with his lovely, gracious and motherly wife who always had something nice to say to me. PM surprised everyone by asking me, while waiting for his limousine, about a restaurant we went to in Rome in 1984, right after he made his very strong speech at the General Assembly!

The real work now begins as we break up into a plenary, six committees and several working groups and the working level debates on agendas and issues begin again. Mine is the plenary which starts tomorrow and ends on 23rd December! I foresee lots of interventions, lots of statements and lots of sponsoring of resolutions. Giddy just to think of them. And this time I have only one officer under me instead of four till now. It is rather intimidating to be in the thick of all this but it will look great in my CV later though - DELEGATE TO THE UNITED NATIONS MILLENNIUM SUMMIT AND THE 55TH SESSION OF THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY, September - December 2000!

I visited the orthopedist yesterday and he prescribed me steroids for my legs which had been in sheer agony these 3 weeks for all the walking I did - no car, no chauffeur, just a pair of weary legs and bad shoes. And another 3 months to go, walking daily back and forth from my apartment hotel to our office and then to the UN, and the rest of the Big Apple of course. On Sunday I bought my 6th (yes, SIXTH!) pair of shoes, in my quest to find the best one for my poor feet. And I think I found it, ugly and unfashionable as are.

Over the weekend I moved twice from the 19th floor apartment I'd been occupying all these while to a 24th floor one and then to the 8th floor in the same building! The 19th floor one had 2 queen size bed I did not need , the 24th floor one gave me instant allergy and I was scratching myself from the time I entered it - it was the most requested unit apparently and thus was tatty and overused! I spent only one night there. My present one is fine - so far, BUT, it's a disabled unit - thus more spacious, better furniture and lower. Who cares. Don't discount me moving yet again if things are still not right - at over RM1000 a night we are paying for the unit I have no qualms about changing units till I find the right one especially if I am to occupy it till Christmas.

Haven't had much chance to enjoy NY till now but my colleague Kamal and his wife takes me out of NY every weekend and that a fresh change. Once he took me to a lobster lunch at a friend's house in the country where I felt squeamish and rather shocked to see some 80 live Maine lobsters being put in  boiling water in an old oil tank to cook!  I managed to eat only one lobster and wondered how the other guests could eat so much...! Next weekend I'll visit my cousin Dan and his wife Maz for lunch, and it happens to be thanksgiving day. Dan has lived  here for the last 20 years and has a house one and half hours train ride away. Haven't seen him since he was a boy, we had lunch together yesterday.

In terms of entertainment there are so much to offer and I am determined to attend as many shows as I can. So far twice to the Metropolitan Opera, first for Arrigo Biotto "Mefistofeles" which was a magnificent sumptuous production with lavish stage sets, except the lady who sat next to me I could swear had not had a bath for months and smelled like a pigsty!!! I also saw Camille Saint-Saens' "Samson and Delilah" with Placido Domingo no less in the lead, but in comparison it was a stark minimalist production with hardly any stage props. I also went to see "The Lion King" and there was a buzz in the theatre because Shirley Bassey was in the audience, sitting a few row in front of me!

Am also enjoying too much the food here especially Japanese and Indian, and Malaysian of course. The Malaysian restaurants in Chinatown serves authentic fares - anything you want lah, even pasumbur and roti canai. The city never sleeps , once at 2.30 am I woke up with a heartburn and went to a drugstore-grocery-cafe-snack bar-all-in-one just a block from my building for relief.

New York never stops either. Rafidah Aziz and a 30-member investment was here since Sunday and today left for Chicago. The 6 MPs are here for 3 weeks and three wives joined over the weekend . There is always someone or another in town at any time.

It's been raining all day since last night. I escaped into a cinema lat night and sat through Lars von Thiers' "Dancer in the Dark", Cannes 2000 Best Picture and Best Actress - Icelandic singer Bjork, but it has to be the most excruciating 2 and a half hour cinematic experience for me. If it comes your way, skip it!

At home ground in Lima crucial developments taking place. Am online daily with my office. I miss my cat Toby more than anything! Have booked myself a flight home to KL on 26 December arriving 28 in time for Hari Raya but I am yet to get approval from HQ.
Three more months in the Big Apple! Sigh...

12 December 2012 (12-12-12) and new artwork.

Greetings, it has been five months since my last entry. How time has flown and how so many things have happened. I just wish the next six months will breeze through and by June I will finish my contract and say goodbye to this job. I am wondering now if accepting the renewal of my contract six months ago was a wise things to do. I had done a lot of good things the last two years and in some ways have reached the peak, now things seem to be getting more difficult and troublesome.

My helping out someone in dire need of a job by hiring him had resulted in much instability and discord in the instiution resulting in his dismissal after 7 months. And now that has its own negative repercussions with unfair accusations and perceptions of abuse of power on my part by the powers that be. So if I do not have the authority to manage the place in the manner I see fit, what good is my position? All too much for a retiree like me! Please God let me properly finish my job, especially two big projects and after that I will be happy to let go, pasrah, redha, que sara sara. Whatever!

My young charge tells me all these means God is planning something better for my future. May be. In sha Allah!    

So what is so significant abour 12 December 2012? I am waiting, but not holding my breath!

Salam Ramadhan 2012

Salam Ramadhan! Twelve days into Ramadhan 2012 and it has been quite a breeze really, until today i.e. Felt sleepy all day and it was a day full of meetings at that! Well, no issues from my organization to raise so I just sat there yawning endlessly! And tonight is only the 4th night since Ramadhan began that I broke fast at home. The rest were at buffets and friend's house and of course that resulted in over eating. Needless to say I haven't lost even a kilo yet, usually that happens after the third week.

It's almost two mionths since my last entry and I am still uninspired to write anything. This is just that people will know I am still around. I did three new paintings over the weekend, one with the 'Allah' calligraphy is on it's way to Usbekistan and will hang in thge residence of my dear friend Hamidah who is taking a post at our Embassy in Tashkent. Thanks for the compliment.

And much against my resolve, I bought another painting yesterday. Just could not resist it. And there are still three I am considering, not so much because I like them but the two artists of the works are big names and the purchase will be for for investment than anything else.

So happy Ramadhan all and may we all receive much blessings by the Almighty in this holy month, amin.

Uninspired....

It has been a long time since I made any entry. That was clearly pointed out by a friend from Holland who wrote it in his email message a few days ago. I am just not inspired to write of late despite many things happening and my rather busy working and also social life. I am not sure if anyone is reading what I write anyway. Also Facebook seem to be the order of the day lately, so more efforts are being put in Facebook instead.

I have a relatively 'quiet' weekend  for a change, no work-related activity except for an invitation to the Istana Negara (Royal Palace) this afternoon for a tea party to celebrate DYMM Agong's (the King) official birthday to which I am not inclined to go. I can just imagine the scenario, lots of people under an open tent in formal clothes and the heat and humidity will be most taxing. Besides, I don't think anyone will miss me!

Adur, the gardener is late today so I have been pottering in the garden on my own earlier on doing a lot of pruning. I will have to visit my Putrajaya house as well since I have not been there for two weeks now. I had earlier called Mehboob to mow the lawn. There was a huge pineapple fruit in the garden the last time I went there, hopefully it is still there and already ripe and not eaten by some creature.

Last weekend, with my loyal travelling companion Hoong Po I went to Kuantan for an overnight stay at a beach hotel in Beserah. It was most pleasant despite the crowded full hotel, being the start of the school holiday. We drove around the villages, bought batiks and ate seafood. I have always loved the East Coast and had in fact spent five days there with Hoong Po in April, but this short trip was more an excuse to visit my dear cucu (granddaughter) Kuca on the way and on the way back. The sweet thing has grown up so lovely and clever and all too soon she will be three years old in August. It is a wonderful feeling to be unconditionally loved by a child and this was how I felt every time Kuca and I were together. Bless her!

All too soon my two year term with my current job comes to an end on 6 June but Alhamdullilah the contract is now extended for another year. Funny, looking back how difficult it was in the first year and how often I contemplated resigning. Thank God I have managed to put things AND my staff in perspective and we are stable now. I have done a lot to the institution and bigger things are now being implemented. I am now getting the support from the powers-that-be though in the beginning I was rather groping in the dark and felt left very much on my own. Being left on my own was actually not bad and a polite way to interpret 'no interference' and I could go about doing things in the way I thought best  for the institution. Well I can now look back and claim a good degree of success and hopefully will achieve bigger success in the new term. Insha Allah.

The house once a home

Yesterday I passed my old house again. I was sad to see it in a very dilapidated state, with overgrown vegetation and some rubbish strewn about and neighbours’ cars hogging the street in front of it. It has been one and a half year since I sold it and it remained unoccupied. The owner made no bones about buying it as an investment, but what shocked we was when he put up a price RM570,000 more than the price he paid me for it. Well, good luck to him.

The house was probably the best investment I have even made, bought in 1988 and 22 years later sold at more than ten times the original price. I paid just under half of its price from my savings and took a 15 years loan on the rest. But the house paid for itself with its ever increasing rental and I paid up the loan in just under 8 years. What a blessing.

From the time it was completed the house was always rented. I finally moved into it in October 2002 after my return from Peru. I did some major upgrading (not renovation) and spent half the amount of the price of the house in 1988. I lived in it for just one three years before my transfer to Switzerland. Itt was quite a blissful period though I must have upsetted my neighbors with my frequent complaint about their endlessly barking dogs!! But it was downright inconsiderate of them not to teach their dogs some manners!

The dilapidated state of the house now complimented the dilapidated state of the neighborhood with its endless renovation works, abandoned houses, bumpy road, cars indiscriminately parked and rubbish piled up everywhere. For the life of me I could never understand why the residents tolerated such a situation. They seemed only concerned with what is in their compound and could not be bothered with the rest of the rot. When I lived there I was always chasing after Dewan Bandaraya and Alam Flora to ensure they do their services for the neighbourhood.

I am glad I moved away. The place does hold some memories and was in fact very strategic and convenient location-wise. Anwar Ibrahim used to live a few doors away for me and at the height of his imprisonment we were frequently subjected to inconveniences when there were monthly gatherings of his supporters at his house, and especially during his daughter’s wedding. On that occasion I remember complaining to the police guard on duty that we could not even drive back to our house due to the street around his house being blocked with all sorts of vehicles and tents even days before the actual event. (Wan Azizah did write to the neighbours before the wedding apologising for the forthcoming inconvenience to the neighbourhood and inviting us to the wedding reception). The policemen merely said they could not do anything about it at the risk of being accused of discriminating against Anwar! In frustration I packed my bag and went back to JB for the long weekend!

I have lived in many houses in my lifetime, and in 9 different countries and I always made sure the house I live in was a home. Each house had its special memories. I have now lived in my present house for 15 months – still not quite yet my dream house but a truly wonderful gift after all my years of working. Alhamdulillah.

My latest artworks

21 July 2001 - A Letter from Lima

An email letter sent to a friend from Lima , Peru on 21 July 2001

"Early Saturday morning and for a change it's not so cold but grey all the same. I will go to the Banos Turcos later to get rid of all those grimy deposits on my skin due to Bolivia's hard water and cold weather. On my stereo Al Bano is singing lyrical songs made up from some of the classic world's most famous melodies (like Jose Carreras did with his very successful CD PASSION and later MORE PASSION ). I found the CD in LA Paz. Some are most unlikely but of the 14 tracks he did best with Puccini's Hum Chorus from Madame Butterfly, and worst with the Triumphant March from Verdi's Aida. All a bit kitch but entertaining. Al Bano is actually a spent Italian pop idol of the early 80's. Imagine what his name sounds like in the Spanish world as N is actually NYE so BANO is actually pronounced BANYO. So Al Bano in Spanish means TO THE TOILET! (Just like at the 1974 Miss World Pageant in London Royal Albert Hall where the host announced - Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Malaysia Maggie LOO!! Or the 70s popular black American singer LOU RAWLS (pronounced loo (toilet) rolls!!). Victor my driver went into a fit of giggle on Al Bano !!

On Thursday evening I attended a concert at The Lima University after a lovely reception at the Russians where I ate quite a bit but couldn't get any drinks. The University has it's own symphonic orchestra and the evening's guest was a South Korean violinist, a Kwung Wa Chung in the making! Anyway some drama unfolded during the concert. In the middle of a Wagner prelude the conductor's score stand tumbled off the stage and while the conductor clumsily fumbled to restore things the orchestra gallantly played on! And in the middle of Mozart's beautiful second movement of the Violin Concerto no. 5 a young boy thumped, thumped down the wooden isle of the side platform seats making such a noise and soliciting loud hissings! Mendelssohn's Symphony was the best executed piece of the evening. I had a chat with the solo violinist after the concert and warned her about he altitude of Cusco and Machu Picchu which she was visiting the next day as a tourist, and especially about La Paz where she would perform in the coming days !

Last night a very grand garden reception (under a superb Arabian Night sort of tent complete with life orchestra and a voluptuous bolero singer ala Sharifah Aini and a fresh oysters stand to boot ) by my Colombian lady counterpart and one and half hour into it a four-wheel arrived in the garden right in front of the tent and out stepped AlejendroToledo! The two posh ladies I was talking to then, no doubt Lima's upper crusts, weren't the least bit amused and said he should get out at the front gate and walked in like everyone else! President-elect what! Give some due lah.

Busy days ahead, at least one reception or a dinner every evening for the next three weeks. Eight farewells for departing Ambassadors, and one after another national days receptions. And tonight a reception for Belgium's take-over of the EU Presidency. Our Deputy Minister arrives 26 July and has a two days solid programme and I can only manage to have him over for breakfast at the Residence on Friday. Have to be sensitive lah for Friday prayers, if he does not wish to go I will invite him to lunch at a restaurant, I have a couple of Peruvian officials on standby for this .

Did I tell you I ate so much red trout from Lake Titicaca in La Paz and Santa Cruz. Lovely thing, almost like salmon which I don't usually like. That strawberry and milk drink consumed by my assistant in Santa Cruz was really bad, he hasn't fully recovered from that food poisoning till yesterday and still refused to see a doctor . And I am back with my bloated tummy feeling again, damn whatever it is here in Lima that causes that. I feel fine the moment I step out Lima .
Got a slight cold since my returns, how not too with all those ladies I had to exchange kisses with at the receptions, some of whom had the flu and should have stayed home !!
I have a lunch invitation tomorrow at Maria Musa's brother's house in sunny Cineguilla. At least some sunshine. Toby is such a darling but my allergy to him really bothered me. What to do!
I hope you will not be disappointed with the rock I sent you. I can get you bigger ones now that I know where they can be found. My clock from La Paz set in the rock is just beautiful.

Got to go now for the real bano! Look forward to your news. Have a nice weekend.
Big hugs, 
Roem " 

The unloved (2nd installment)

Some time  ago I wrote about the same subject and got quite a reaction!

How does one really reconcile being unloved. Love comes in many forms and the need to be loved is quite overwhelming, probably more than the need to love. It's a sense of security to know that you are loved. Each person will have his/her priority whose love is most important to him/her. We can choose who we want to love but we cannot demand any particular person to love us. Love must come naturally, and sometimes love grows from knowing a person (love at first sight? Mmmm, am not so sure about that!).

Someone very close to me is still sometimes struggling with the knowledge that he was not loved as a child, and now as an adult, his mother at a ripe old age still openly shows preference to his other siblings. Coming from a big family, at a early age he was packed off to live with an elder brother, whose wife became a surrogate mother of sort. But when his father was old and sick, it was he who took care of him until the old man died - the very person who frequently proclaimed that he could not stand the sight of this son!

My young friend has now a family of his own, a beautiful wife and three lovely daughters. The way he and his daughters interact is "love personified". His children must at all time feel and have the love he never had as a child. He still tries to get close to his elderly mother but all efforts are rather in vain. He feels odd and disheartened when he calls her on the phone and and the response is akin to "what do you want?".

His mother has never been to his house and recently, knowing she was in town he organized a family gathering in her honour only to be shattered by the fact that his mother chose to visit another brother who had not made any arrangement at all. And when it comes to property matters, his siblings had been designated their share while he has not been given anything so far.

I kept advising my young friend to be patient, life is sometimes unfair and patience has its rewards. Just count other blessings. His love for his family and their love for him in return are already a reward. Parental love is something one can never demand. And I know of a few people who just do not have it from their parents, and it's hard and painful. But in Islam, filial piety is total, especially to a mother even if she is the most difficult mother you can possibly have. "Syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu - the door to paradise depends on your relationship with your mother" - no two way about it!

Which made me forever grateful that my parents, in their lifetime had showered me with all the love and support a son could possible want. Though in my younger days I was perhaps sometimes naive, stubborn or rebellious to know or accept it, though to other it was so obvious how much they loved me. Alhamdullilah, I was able to reciprocate their love in their lifetime. May Allah always bless their souls, amin.

'Kurniakan lah rahmat, bahagia ibu bapa ku,
Berikan hidayah pada hati yang tertutup...'
See video : http://youtu.be/e_soESI12Dg

1st January 2012 - post Canberra sojourn

Good morning world! And a happy new year 2012!May the new year bring lots of good tidings to all of us, and the world at large.

I was up early this morning, having gone to bed at 11pm and awakened at midnight with all the loud fireworks announcing the start of 2012. I was supposed to be at an official event ushering the new year but opted out at the 11th hour. I was just too tired and didn't think I could cope with the crowd and NOISE at the event. Just as well, and it was not the first time I spent new year eve alone and in bed!

I came home late Wednesday night after a 10-day most pleasant, quiet and food-laden holiday in Canberra, Australia. The quiet holiday was indeed a balm for my rather frenzied working life. I left Canberra 15 years ago after a two and half year posting and clearly it had not changed that much today. Excellent quality of life and services still prevailed  and you get value-for-money on whatever you spent. Outsiders may find Canberra deathly boring but at this stage of my life I could live in Canberra if I had all the necessary personal infrastructures.Glad to catch up with friends Willie, Don, Mac, Tony, Nora and Halim, Zuraidah, Salman, Molly and Richard, etc. Regretfully, many had also gone away for Christmas and New Year holiday. Thanks Willie (my dear old schoolmate from English College Johor Bahru who has lived in Canberra for 40 years) for your generous hospitality.

My  rather fast-paced life started again upon my return home and I am glad I won't have to go to work until Tuesday 3rd January ( followed immediately by a working visit to Jogjakarta 5-8 January). Thursday was spent in my Putrajaya house which I had not gone to for nearly a month! I had phoned up Mehboob to clean up the garden and it was nice when I got there. The rainy season had ensured the plants  were doing well. I had ordered a bedroom set which was delivered in my absence and having looked at it I realised I could have spent a little more for quality! Cest la vie!

Leisurely morning on Friday followed by some site visits with my charge and then Friday prayers. Late afternoon my brother Long and wife from JB arrived to spend the night at my house. Later brother Wes and wife too arrived and after Maghrib prayers we all trooped down to SUBAK Restaurant at Sungai Pencala for our niece Nur Annanina's  (brother Ngah's daughter) wedding reception. She married American Michael (?) in the US last year and they have now settled down in Las Vegas. It was a most pleasant evening with good company, nice food and music. The best comment heard was the warm reunion of the four brothers. Alhamdullilah!

Long and Sis left at noon next day for their much-needed private holiday (destination Ipoh and Pangkor) amidst a hive of activity in my house with Ayu doing the internal cleaning and Irfan doing up the garden. I took Anna and Michael, and nephew Andreas for a Japanese lunch and they came home with me for coffee. Ayu and Irfan only left after five and I was really tired by then and still had to go to that new year event. Well that didn't happen thankfully.

2011 was a wonderful and great year for me though there were times when I felt so stressed out and pressured with my work responsibilities. They are all just memories now and in fact were the essential spices for my life. The private travels I undertook, though I would always include some official element in them  (Jogjakarta, Perth, Surabaya, Bandung, New Delhi and Canberra), in between these busy schedules, were the balm for my frenzied working life.

I am looking forward to a great 2012. Once again, happy new year everyone and God bless.