60 Inspirational Quotes

1. You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
2. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
3. Don’t think of cost.  Think of value.
4. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
5. Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  Read Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
6. No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
7. If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so.  Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.
8. Making one person smile can change the world – maybe not the whole world, but their world.
9. Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you any prettier.
10. The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.
11. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.
12. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
13. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.
14. As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.
15. Making a hundred friends is not a miracle.  The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you.
16. Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
17. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
18. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
19. Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
20. Falling in love is not a choice.  To stay in love is.
21. True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
22. While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
23. Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
24. You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25. In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
26. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
27. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
28. There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person.  True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.
29. Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
30. You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are now.
31. People are more what they hide than what they show.
32. Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.
33. Don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do.
34. Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.
35. Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off.  It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.
36. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  It takes someone really special to stay in your life and show how much they love you.
37. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion; today is special.
38. Love and appreciate your parents.  We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old.
39. When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.
40. Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.
41. When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.
42. Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.
43. Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Happiness is a choice.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.
44. When you’re up, your friends know who you are.  When you’re down, you know who your friends are.
45. Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.
46. If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.
47. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.
48. The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.
49. Many people are so poor because the only thing they have is money.
50. Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you appreciate the things you once had.
51. When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.
52. You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there.
53. It’s better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.
54. There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.
55. Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.
56. If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past.  If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.
57. What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.  Read The Power of Habit.
58. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
59. Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
60. If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about 

Remembering Almarhum Sultan Azlan Shah (28-5-2014)

I first met Tuanku in 1983 when I was serving in Rome. He was then Lord President and came for a few days visit with a senior officer and I was assigned to accompany him. I practically spent the next three days with him from breakfast to dinner. He asked me to find the best restaurants in Rome for our meals. And I was privy to his exquisite taste when he went shopping for clothes. Once he commented why I was not dressed in a full suit when I turned up for dinner with a jacket and pants of another colour!!

I remember him being very kind and caring; I was nursing a cold and he always reminded me to take my medicines. He even wanted to see how I lived and popped into my apartment for a few minutes.

In 1985 Tuanku came to Rome again, by then as the Sultan of Perak, accompanied by Tuanku Permaisuri and daughter Raja Elena. Again I accompanied him most of the time. I got a big 'bonus' when he was shopping in Rome's top men boutique BRIONI; Tuanku asked me to choose a dozen neck ties for himself and then told me to pick a suit for myself! Imagine a First Secretary wearing a Brioni suit!! I was pleased to bits.

The two occasions I spent with Tuanku must have made an impact. A few months after I was posted home in 1985 I was invited to have lunch with Tuanku at his palace in Federal Hill.

In 1992 when he was the Yang Di Pertuan Agong, he made a State Visit to Austria and I was serving in Poland at that time. I was in Vienna then for another purpose and was happy to meet Tuanku at the Ambassador's Reception. The following year I was back in the Ministry again and one of my tasks was the logistic preparations for the Agong's State Visit to the United Kingdom. For some reason only known to my immediate superior I was not included in the delegation. I clearly remember some time later when I met Tuanku he asked me why was I not in the Official Delegation for his State Visit to the UK!

In 1996 I happened to be in the same MAS fight to Seoul with Tuanku, me for a meeting and Tuanku for the World Hockey Meeting. After the plane took off the Chief Steward informed me that Tuanku invited me to accompany him in the First Class Cabin. I went and sat beside him and we were served our dinner and had a long pleasant conversation until he informed me he was going to take his medications and go to sleep. We met again the next evening in Seoul for dinner with the Ambassador.

In 1999 when I had my first Ambassadorial appointment to Peru, Tuanku graciously invited me to dinner at his palace in KL. He teased me about the Datoship I had been conferred by the Sultan of Johor a few days earlier and also presented me with a watch.

I was also once invited to a black tie function at the Istana Kuala Kangsar but was unable to attend.

A few months after my appointment as DG of the National Art Gallery, Tuanku celebrated his 82nd birthday at the Gallery by special request of the Persatuan Anak2 Perak. The sit-down dinner by invitation only was a grand and exceptional occasion for the National Art Gallery. Tuanku was pleasantly surprised to discover that I was the DG of the Gallery. As usual he was very gracious and had always something warm and nice to say to me.

Almarhum Sultan Azlan Shah ibni Al Marhum Sultan Yusuf Izzudin Shah,
may Allah SWT always bless your soul and place you among the chosen, amin.

It is indeed a privilege to know Tuanku personally and I will always cherish his kindness, warmth and generosity to me...

ALFATIHAH SHARIFAH AINI - A Personal Recollection

I have always followed Sharifah Aini's career from the time she one she won one of the top three placings in the RTS Talentime competition in Singapore in 1968 followed by her first recording with EMI, SERI DEWI MALAM in 1969. I believe I have every songs she recorded though some are in vinyl and have not been issued on CD format till now.

My first encounter with her was in 1977 at the KL Equatorial Hotel Coffee House. We were both having lunch with our friends at separate tables and I took a chance and sent her a note congratulating her on the success of her first English album FOREVER AND EVER. She graciously replied back, both our notes were written on the coffee house table napkins!!

The second time I met her was was on a MAS flight to Amsterdam in 1988, me on my way to my posting in Warsaw, Poland and she to Abu Dhabi for a concert. We sat in 1st Class and I had the opportunity to sit next to her for an hour. We chatted like old friends and even exchanged addresses. There was no follow up to that encounter but a year later I wrote a pseudonym letter to the New Straits Times giving her a boost when I noticed her career was on stagnant mode.

In 1995 I came home for a holiday from my posting in Canberra and attended a live concert by her at the Hyatt in Johor Bahru. Her career then was on the upswing again after a successful comeback concert in KL and her recording of the song SEKSA. She invited me to her table after the concert. A few weeks later back in Canberra, Sharifah sent me a cassette of of the raw recordings of 12 songs for her latest album SELAMANYA, soliciting my comments. The album had good reviews after its release and my favourite tracks were GERIMIS MENGUNDANG and SURATAN ATAU KEBETULAN.

In 1996 back again in KL after my posting in Canberra, Sharifah once invited me to her recording session. It was for the song NOSTALGIA AIDILFITRI. There was only four of us in that old, rickety studio in PJ Section 12, Sharifah, producer S.Atan, the recording engineer and me. To my untrained ears she sounded fine during the initial recording but she was extremely unhappy with the sound quality and demanded another engineer to take over. We waited hours for a replacement and she sent for nasi bungkus!!

When I finally heard her sing again with the new sound engineer in charge I realised the great difference in the quality of the sound and her voice. That was how professional she was; she knew exactly what she wanted. Attesting to her great professionalism, the final recording took only two takes, only once interrupted by both me and S. Atan when she once went off key! NOSTALGIA AIDILFITRI became a big hit and until today is an annual Aidifitri anthem.

During my posting in Lima, Sharifah once wrote me a desperate email saying that she was in the midst of recording her latest album and one of the tracks chosen was a Spanish classic NOCHE DE RONDA (which every blue-blooded Spanish singer must sing at one time or another) and that the musical arrangements were all ready but she could not come up with the lyrics as nobody around her knew Spanish. I had my interpreter Rossana Arakaki-Touzin translate the lyrics into English, which I then translated into Malay and emailed it back to her. She made some changes to the lyrics and and came up with what I felt is a brilliant Malay version of the song aptly titled MALAM GELISAH. I still get goosebumps listening to the song today.She acknowledged me in the sleeve of the CD.

When I went for my haj in December 2005 Sharifah insisted I see her son Aliff who was studying to be a tahfiz in Medina. I made arrangement to see Aliff but he did not show up at the appointed time and called me hours before I was returning to Mekah. I could not see him by then but we had a good long chat and could tell what a well brought up young man he was.

In the last few years I had not much contact with Sharifah but I always keep abreast with news about her. I was very surprised to read about her tiff with Siti Nurhaliza and especially with S. Atan who produced most of her hit albums from the 80s onwards and for whom I had a special memory when we were in the studio together for the recording of NOSTALGIA AIDILFITRI. I am glad she and Siti had made up.

She left us now, Allah loves her more than her adoring fans. But her songs will remain forever. Thank you for the songs Sharifah, which had travelled the world with me and entertained and inspired me from the age of 18. May Allah SWT bless your soul always, amin.

http://youtu.be/z6OG8RMuex4

LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS AND FLEETING...

Two weeks ago I was invited to an hour of video recording of my post heart-bypass surgery experience which I underwent 11 years ago, for a former classmate and renown plastic surgeon Dr Charles Lee to be featured in his HeartTalk Website http://hearttalk.com.my/ . In the afternoon there was another one hour recording session with five heart bypass patients (myself included) and by coincidence my very own cardiologist from our National Heart Institute (IJN). Charles himself had recently underwent a bypass and found the experience traumatic and life-changing and was still coming to terms with that surgery. His aim was to share the experiences of other bypass patients to help/comfort other similar patients and to prepare would-be patients.

One of the panel member was a very strapping, healthy-looking 62-year English gentleman who was a retired American football coach, Alan, who now made Malaysia his home for the last few years. He seemed to be the most healthy and least troubled among the panel when describing his experience despite having had a couple of bypasses.

A few days after the session Alan sms me to say that he was pleased to have met me and would like to keep in contact. I replied that I felt the same and that I would contact him after my upcoming holiday in Lombok.
Yesterday morning (10-10-13) I sms him to invite him for lunch today but did not get a reply. At 6 pm I called his number but got no answer.
An hour ago (11-10-13) I received a sms from his number which said Alan had died on 28 September (the very next day after we contacted each other by sms). He was found lifeless on his living room couch and autopsy concluded he died of a heart attack!

I really felt a lump in my throat and felt tears in my eyes to be again jolted into the reality how precious and fragile this life can be...

MAY YOU REST IN PEACE ALAN.

Sunsets in Lombok, October 2013

A week in Usbekistan (Tashkent, Samarkand & Bokhara), May 2013

Mid Year Hello!

Hello, hello, hello. All too soon it is mid 2013 and I have not made an entry since January. Well I am blissfully retired now and far from my worry about how to spend my time, the hours and days seemed to have breezed by and I still have not been able to do all the things I set out to do or promised to do once I stopped working. There is no end to the domestic chores and I still have not organized many things in the house which I really ought to.

And I have finally embarked on travels again. In April I finally realized my dream to go to Kyoto in Japan (one of the few countries I have never been to) and had a most wonderful week there. I had always been intimidated by the idea of going to Japan, at the back of my mind I was worried about the communication problem having heard so much tales about Japanese not speaking English. Well maybe not many people spoke English there but it was so easy getting around with the perfect transport system and information. In fact it was one of the most hassle-free holiday I ever had, plus the perfect weather and the kindest and most polite people ever. I was also lucky to be introduced to a Japanese friend of a friend who took the trouble to show me around for two full days. I missed the cherry blossoms but it was a blessing in a way as all cherry-blossom tourists had left by the time I arrived Kyoto so everywhere I went - the temples, shrines, palaces and gardens, there were few people only and in some I had the whole place to myself.

Now I am even dreaming of going to Kyoto in Autumn some time!

In May I spent a week in Usbekistan, staying at my dear friend and colleaque Hamidah's house and visiting Samarkand and Bokhara as well . That will be in my next entry.

Happy 2013, free again!

1st January 2013, a quiet day at home. My sweet granddaughter Kuca and family left after a late breakfast (and a romp in the pool at our clubhouse before that) to continue shopping for school stuffs before they return to their kampung (village). They stayed the night and we had a lovely dinner at the Lake Club, rather quiet at the coffee house restaurant , despite all the parties to welcome the new year at the Club's other outlets.

Kuca, three years and three months is a real bundle of joy, sweet, smart and inquisitive, good natured and just plain adorable. A few minutes before midnight she came into my bedroom to say goodnight; she kissed my hand and asked for a hug and really hugged me with all her heart. That's when I told her we have to watch the fireworks first before she goes to sleep, at the stroke of midnight from the balcony upstairs.

So here I am at the beginning of a new year, a free man again/at long last. I was briefly free for four months after I retired from my last job when I was offered another appointment. Now just about five months to the end of my third year contract I threw in the towel with a 24-hour notice and a month's salary thrown in . Enough is enough! Work, money, position are nothing when your honour and integrity are questioned. My work and contributions are widely acknowledged by the public, our clients and my staff but not the 'powers-that-be', so what is the point of going on!

Looking back,  2012 had not in fact been a great year for me. @011 was a big bang where I stamped my mark, but things slowed down to a more relaxed pace in 2012. On the personal level, I did not do as much overseas travel as I would like to (unjustified restriction by the powers-that-be) but there was a lot of short internal travels with me discovering my own country.

So where do I begin now, with my new found freedom? I had thought of going far away just to forget everything that had happened but I only got as far as Penang for five days. And it was really the comfort of my own house, my sanctuary, my cocoon that I actually needed. My good friend in Hove, England wrote a very kind, persuasive email asking me to come and spend a few weeks with him to 'drown my sorrow'. But hey, I am over it now, seriously and Alhamdullilah!    

So life goes on, and I am confident something good is cooking up for me. For now I am just enjoying the pleasure of freedom - not having to go to work and not responsible for a whole gamut of things. Last Friday I went to the MAS office and acquired return tickets to Osaka (my actual destination is Kyoto) for mid April - I am finally going to Japan! And in May I will go to Tashkent and visit mygood friend Hamidah. In the meanwhile I can choose to go to Makassar, or Ambon or Surabaya (again) if I want to. Thank God for liberty, at last!
Have a great 2013 everyone. 

A New York Reminiscence

26 September 2000. My 4th week here and things have settled down slightly with the minister's departure last Thursday after an almost 3 weeks stay with a hectic full programme. Apart from the dozens of scheduled UN meetings, there were some 30 other side meetings with his foreign counterparts and other organizations (see how popular Malaysia is!). My team and I worked all day Wednesday till 3 am Thursday to finish the reports of the meetings - all 75 pages of it. Fortunately he was happy with it.

I sat in many meetings but one memorable one was a round table session chaired by Hugo Chavez and attended by many world personalities including Fidel Castro who at some point was chastised by Chavez! I will never forget how a bored Prince Albert of Monaco at some point after having fiddled with his unused microphone, turned around and looking at my direction made some snorting noises with his nose! Most unroyal I thought!!!

Our PM was here too for a few days with his lovely, gracious and motherly wife who always had something nice to say to me. PM surprised everyone by asking me, while waiting for his limousine, about a restaurant we went to in Rome in 1984, right after he made his very strong speech at the General Assembly!

The real work now begins as we break up into a plenary, six committees and several working groups and the working level debates on agendas and issues begin again. Mine is the plenary which starts tomorrow and ends on 23rd December! I foresee lots of interventions, lots of statements and lots of sponsoring of resolutions. Giddy just to think of them. And this time I have only one officer under me instead of four till now. It is rather intimidating to be in the thick of all this but it will look great in my CV later though - DELEGATE TO THE UNITED NATIONS MILLENNIUM SUMMIT AND THE 55TH SESSION OF THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY, September - December 2000!

I visited the orthopedist yesterday and he prescribed me steroids for my legs which had been in sheer agony these 3 weeks for all the walking I did - no car, no chauffeur, just a pair of weary legs and bad shoes. And another 3 months to go, walking daily back and forth from my apartment hotel to our office and then to the UN, and the rest of the Big Apple of course. On Sunday I bought my 6th (yes, SIXTH!) pair of shoes, in my quest to find the best one for my poor feet. And I think I found it, ugly and unfashionable as are.

Over the weekend I moved twice from the 19th floor apartment I'd been occupying all these while to a 24th floor one and then to the 8th floor in the same building! The 19th floor one had 2 queen size bed I did not need , the 24th floor one gave me instant allergy and I was scratching myself from the time I entered it - it was the most requested unit apparently and thus was tatty and overused! I spent only one night there. My present one is fine - so far, BUT, it's a disabled unit - thus more spacious, better furniture and lower. Who cares. Don't discount me moving yet again if things are still not right - at over RM1000 a night we are paying for the unit I have no qualms about changing units till I find the right one especially if I am to occupy it till Christmas.

Haven't had much chance to enjoy NY till now but my colleague Kamal and his wife takes me out of NY every weekend and that a fresh change. Once he took me to a lobster lunch at a friend's house in the country where I felt squeamish and rather shocked to see some 80 live Maine lobsters being put in  boiling water in an old oil tank to cook!  I managed to eat only one lobster and wondered how the other guests could eat so much...! Next weekend I'll visit my cousin Dan and his wife Maz for lunch, and it happens to be thanksgiving day. Dan has lived  here for the last 20 years and has a house one and half hours train ride away. Haven't seen him since he was a boy, we had lunch together yesterday.

In terms of entertainment there are so much to offer and I am determined to attend as many shows as I can. So far twice to the Metropolitan Opera, first for Arrigo Biotto "Mefistofeles" which was a magnificent sumptuous production with lavish stage sets, except the lady who sat next to me I could swear had not had a bath for months and smelled like a pigsty!!! I also saw Camille Saint-Saens' "Samson and Delilah" with Placido Domingo no less in the lead, but in comparison it was a stark minimalist production with hardly any stage props. I also went to see "The Lion King" and there was a buzz in the theatre because Shirley Bassey was in the audience, sitting a few row in front of me!

Am also enjoying too much the food here especially Japanese and Indian, and Malaysian of course. The Malaysian restaurants in Chinatown serves authentic fares - anything you want lah, even pasumbur and roti canai. The city never sleeps , once at 2.30 am I woke up with a heartburn and went to a drugstore-grocery-cafe-snack bar-all-in-one just a block from my building for relief.

New York never stops either. Rafidah Aziz and a 30-member investment was here since Sunday and today left for Chicago. The 6 MPs are here for 3 weeks and three wives joined over the weekend . There is always someone or another in town at any time.

It's been raining all day since last night. I escaped into a cinema lat night and sat through Lars von Thiers' "Dancer in the Dark", Cannes 2000 Best Picture and Best Actress - Icelandic singer Bjork, but it has to be the most excruciating 2 and a half hour cinematic experience for me. If it comes your way, skip it!

At home ground in Lima crucial developments taking place. Am online daily with my office. I miss my cat Toby more than anything! Have booked myself a flight home to KL on 26 December arriving 28 in time for Hari Raya but I am yet to get approval from HQ.
Three more months in the Big Apple! Sigh...

12 December 2012 (12-12-12) and new artwork.

Greetings, it has been five months since my last entry. How time has flown and how so many things have happened. I just wish the next six months will breeze through and by June I will finish my contract and say goodbye to this job. I am wondering now if accepting the renewal of my contract six months ago was a wise things to do. I had done a lot of good things the last two years and in some ways have reached the peak, now things seem to be getting more difficult and troublesome.

My helping out someone in dire need of a job by hiring him had resulted in much instability and discord in the instiution resulting in his dismissal after 7 months. And now that has its own negative repercussions with unfair accusations and perceptions of abuse of power on my part by the powers that be. So if I do not have the authority to manage the place in the manner I see fit, what good is my position? All too much for a retiree like me! Please God let me properly finish my job, especially two big projects and after that I will be happy to let go, pasrah, redha, que sara sara. Whatever!

My young charge tells me all these means God is planning something better for my future. May be. In sha Allah!    

So what is so significant abour 12 December 2012? I am waiting, but not holding my breath!

Salam Ramadhan 2012

Salam Ramadhan! Twelve days into Ramadhan 2012 and it has been quite a breeze really, until today i.e. Felt sleepy all day and it was a day full of meetings at that! Well, no issues from my organization to raise so I just sat there yawning endlessly! And tonight is only the 4th night since Ramadhan began that I broke fast at home. The rest were at buffets and friend's house and of course that resulted in over eating. Needless to say I haven't lost even a kilo yet, usually that happens after the third week.

It's almost two mionths since my last entry and I am still uninspired to write anything. This is just that people will know I am still around. I did three new paintings over the weekend, one with the 'Allah' calligraphy is on it's way to Usbekistan and will hang in thge residence of my dear friend Hamidah who is taking a post at our Embassy in Tashkent. Thanks for the compliment.

And much against my resolve, I bought another painting yesterday. Just could not resist it. And there are still three I am considering, not so much because I like them but the two artists of the works are big names and the purchase will be for for investment than anything else.

So happy Ramadhan all and may we all receive much blessings by the Almighty in this holy month, amin.

Uninspired....

It has been a long time since I made any entry. That was clearly pointed out by a friend from Holland who wrote it in his email message a few days ago. I am just not inspired to write of late despite many things happening and my rather busy working and also social life. I am not sure if anyone is reading what I write anyway. Also Facebook seem to be the order of the day lately, so more efforts are being put in Facebook instead.

I have a relatively 'quiet' weekend  for a change, no work-related activity except for an invitation to the Istana Negara (Royal Palace) this afternoon for a tea party to celebrate DYMM Agong's (the King) official birthday to which I am not inclined to go. I can just imagine the scenario, lots of people under an open tent in formal clothes and the heat and humidity will be most taxing. Besides, I don't think anyone will miss me!

Adur, the gardener is late today so I have been pottering in the garden on my own earlier on doing a lot of pruning. I will have to visit my Putrajaya house as well since I have not been there for two weeks now. I had earlier called Mehboob to mow the lawn. There was a huge pineapple fruit in the garden the last time I went there, hopefully it is still there and already ripe and not eaten by some creature.

Last weekend, with my loyal travelling companion Hoong Po I went to Kuantan for an overnight stay at a beach hotel in Beserah. It was most pleasant despite the crowded full hotel, being the start of the school holiday. We drove around the villages, bought batiks and ate seafood. I have always loved the East Coast and had in fact spent five days there with Hoong Po in April, but this short trip was more an excuse to visit my dear cucu (granddaughter) Kuca on the way and on the way back. The sweet thing has grown up so lovely and clever and all too soon she will be three years old in August. It is a wonderful feeling to be unconditionally loved by a child and this was how I felt every time Kuca and I were together. Bless her!

All too soon my two year term with my current job comes to an end on 6 June but Alhamdullilah the contract is now extended for another year. Funny, looking back how difficult it was in the first year and how often I contemplated resigning. Thank God I have managed to put things AND my staff in perspective and we are stable now. I have done a lot to the institution and bigger things are now being implemented. I am now getting the support from the powers-that-be though in the beginning I was rather groping in the dark and felt left very much on my own. Being left on my own was actually not bad and a polite way to interpret 'no interference' and I could go about doing things in the way I thought best  for the institution. Well I can now look back and claim a good degree of success and hopefully will achieve bigger success in the new term. Insha Allah.

The house once a home

Yesterday I passed my old house again. I was sad to see it in a very dilapidated state, with overgrown vegetation and some rubbish strewn about and neighbours’ cars hogging the street in front of it. It has been one and a half year since I sold it and it remained unoccupied. The owner made no bones about buying it as an investment, but what shocked we was when he put up a price RM570,000 more than the price he paid me for it. Well, good luck to him.

The house was probably the best investment I have even made, bought in 1988 and 22 years later sold at more than ten times the original price. I paid just under half of its price from my savings and took a 15 years loan on the rest. But the house paid for itself with its ever increasing rental and I paid up the loan in just under 8 years. What a blessing.

From the time it was completed the house was always rented. I finally moved into it in October 2002 after my return from Peru. I did some major upgrading (not renovation) and spent half the amount of the price of the house in 1988. I lived in it for just one three years before my transfer to Switzerland. Itt was quite a blissful period though I must have upsetted my neighbors with my frequent complaint about their endlessly barking dogs!! But it was downright inconsiderate of them not to teach their dogs some manners!

The dilapidated state of the house now complimented the dilapidated state of the neighborhood with its endless renovation works, abandoned houses, bumpy road, cars indiscriminately parked and rubbish piled up everywhere. For the life of me I could never understand why the residents tolerated such a situation. They seemed only concerned with what is in their compound and could not be bothered with the rest of the rot. When I lived there I was always chasing after Dewan Bandaraya and Alam Flora to ensure they do their services for the neighbourhood.

I am glad I moved away. The place does hold some memories and was in fact very strategic and convenient location-wise. Anwar Ibrahim used to live a few doors away for me and at the height of his imprisonment we were frequently subjected to inconveniences when there were monthly gatherings of his supporters at his house, and especially during his daughter’s wedding. On that occasion I remember complaining to the police guard on duty that we could not even drive back to our house due to the street around his house being blocked with all sorts of vehicles and tents even days before the actual event. (Wan Azizah did write to the neighbours before the wedding apologising for the forthcoming inconvenience to the neighbourhood and inviting us to the wedding reception). The policemen merely said they could not do anything about it at the risk of being accused of discriminating against Anwar! In frustration I packed my bag and went back to JB for the long weekend!

I have lived in many houses in my lifetime, and in 9 different countries and I always made sure the house I live in was a home. Each house had its special memories. I have now lived in my present house for 15 months – still not quite yet my dream house but a truly wonderful gift after all my years of working. Alhamdulillah.

My latest artworks

21 July 2001 - A Letter from Lima

An email letter sent to a friend from Lima , Peru on 21 July 2001

"Early Saturday morning and for a change it's not so cold but grey all the same. I will go to the Banos Turcos later to get rid of all those grimy deposits on my skin due to Bolivia's hard water and cold weather. On my stereo Al Bano is singing lyrical songs made up from some of the classic world's most famous melodies (like Jose Carreras did with his very successful CD PASSION and later MORE PASSION ). I found the CD in LA Paz. Some are most unlikely but of the 14 tracks he did best with Puccini's Hum Chorus from Madame Butterfly, and worst with the Triumphant March from Verdi's Aida. All a bit kitch but entertaining. Al Bano is actually a spent Italian pop idol of the early 80's. Imagine what his name sounds like in the Spanish world as N is actually NYE so BANO is actually pronounced BANYO. So Al Bano in Spanish means TO THE TOILET! (Just like at the 1974 Miss World Pageant in London Royal Albert Hall where the host announced - Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Malaysia Maggie LOO!! Or the 70s popular black American singer LOU RAWLS (pronounced loo (toilet) rolls!!). Victor my driver went into a fit of giggle on Al Bano !!

On Thursday evening I attended a concert at The Lima University after a lovely reception at the Russians where I ate quite a bit but couldn't get any drinks. The University has it's own symphonic orchestra and the evening's guest was a South Korean violinist, a Kwung Wa Chung in the making! Anyway some drama unfolded during the concert. In the middle of a Wagner prelude the conductor's score stand tumbled off the stage and while the conductor clumsily fumbled to restore things the orchestra gallantly played on! And in the middle of Mozart's beautiful second movement of the Violin Concerto no. 5 a young boy thumped, thumped down the wooden isle of the side platform seats making such a noise and soliciting loud hissings! Mendelssohn's Symphony was the best executed piece of the evening. I had a chat with the solo violinist after the concert and warned her about he altitude of Cusco and Machu Picchu which she was visiting the next day as a tourist, and especially about La Paz where she would perform in the coming days !

Last night a very grand garden reception (under a superb Arabian Night sort of tent complete with life orchestra and a voluptuous bolero singer ala Sharifah Aini and a fresh oysters stand to boot ) by my Colombian lady counterpart and one and half hour into it a four-wheel arrived in the garden right in front of the tent and out stepped AlejendroToledo! The two posh ladies I was talking to then, no doubt Lima's upper crusts, weren't the least bit amused and said he should get out at the front gate and walked in like everyone else! President-elect what! Give some due lah.

Busy days ahead, at least one reception or a dinner every evening for the next three weeks. Eight farewells for departing Ambassadors, and one after another national days receptions. And tonight a reception for Belgium's take-over of the EU Presidency. Our Deputy Minister arrives 26 July and has a two days solid programme and I can only manage to have him over for breakfast at the Residence on Friday. Have to be sensitive lah for Friday prayers, if he does not wish to go I will invite him to lunch at a restaurant, I have a couple of Peruvian officials on standby for this .

Did I tell you I ate so much red trout from Lake Titicaca in La Paz and Santa Cruz. Lovely thing, almost like salmon which I don't usually like. That strawberry and milk drink consumed by my assistant in Santa Cruz was really bad, he hasn't fully recovered from that food poisoning till yesterday and still refused to see a doctor . And I am back with my bloated tummy feeling again, damn whatever it is here in Lima that causes that. I feel fine the moment I step out Lima .
Got a slight cold since my returns, how not too with all those ladies I had to exchange kisses with at the receptions, some of whom had the flu and should have stayed home !!
I have a lunch invitation tomorrow at Maria Musa's brother's house in sunny Cineguilla. At least some sunshine. Toby is such a darling but my allergy to him really bothered me. What to do!
I hope you will not be disappointed with the rock I sent you. I can get you bigger ones now that I know where they can be found. My clock from La Paz set in the rock is just beautiful.

Got to go now for the real bano! Look forward to your news. Have a nice weekend.
Big hugs, 
Roem " 

The unloved (2nd installment)

Some time  ago I wrote about the same subject and got quite a reaction!

How does one really reconcile being unloved. Love comes in many forms and the need to be loved is quite overwhelming, probably more than the need to love. It's a sense of security to know that you are loved. Each person will have his/her priority whose love is most important to him/her. We can choose who we want to love but we cannot demand any particular person to love us. Love must come naturally, and sometimes love grows from knowing a person (love at first sight? Mmmm, am not so sure about that!).

Someone very close to me is still sometimes struggling with the knowledge that he was not loved as a child, and now as an adult, his mother at a ripe old age still openly shows preference to his other siblings. Coming from a big family, at a early age he was packed off to live with an elder brother, whose wife became a surrogate mother of sort. But when his father was old and sick, it was he who took care of him until the old man died - the very person who frequently proclaimed that he could not stand the sight of this son!

My young friend has now a family of his own, a beautiful wife and three lovely daughters. The way he and his daughters interact is "love personified". His children must at all time feel and have the love he never had as a child. He still tries to get close to his elderly mother but all efforts are rather in vain. He feels odd and disheartened when he calls her on the phone and and the response is akin to "what do you want?".

His mother has never been to his house and recently, knowing she was in town he organized a family gathering in her honour only to be shattered by the fact that his mother chose to visit another brother who had not made any arrangement at all. And when it comes to property matters, his siblings had been designated their share while he has not been given anything so far.

I kept advising my young friend to be patient, life is sometimes unfair and patience has its rewards. Just count other blessings. His love for his family and their love for him in return are already a reward. Parental love is something one can never demand. And I know of a few people who just do not have it from their parents, and it's hard and painful. But in Islam, filial piety is total, especially to a mother even if she is the most difficult mother you can possibly have. "Syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu - the door to paradise depends on your relationship with your mother" - no two way about it!

Which made me forever grateful that my parents, in their lifetime had showered me with all the love and support a son could possible want. Though in my younger days I was perhaps sometimes naive, stubborn or rebellious to know or accept it, though to other it was so obvious how much they loved me. Alhamdullilah, I was able to reciprocate their love in their lifetime. May Allah always bless their souls, amin.

'Kurniakan lah rahmat, bahagia ibu bapa ku,
Berikan hidayah pada hati yang tertutup...'
See video : http://youtu.be/e_soESI12Dg

1st January 2012 - post Canberra sojourn

Good morning world! And a happy new year 2012!May the new year bring lots of good tidings to all of us, and the world at large.

I was up early this morning, having gone to bed at 11pm and awakened at midnight with all the loud fireworks announcing the start of 2012. I was supposed to be at an official event ushering the new year but opted out at the 11th hour. I was just too tired and didn't think I could cope with the crowd and NOISE at the event. Just as well, and it was not the first time I spent new year eve alone and in bed!

I came home late Wednesday night after a 10-day most pleasant, quiet and food-laden holiday in Canberra, Australia. The quiet holiday was indeed a balm for my rather frenzied working life. I left Canberra 15 years ago after a two and half year posting and clearly it had not changed that much today. Excellent quality of life and services still prevailed  and you get value-for-money on whatever you spent. Outsiders may find Canberra deathly boring but at this stage of my life I could live in Canberra if I had all the necessary personal infrastructures.Glad to catch up with friends Willie, Don, Mac, Tony, Nora and Halim, Zuraidah, Salman, Molly and Richard, etc. Regretfully, many had also gone away for Christmas and New Year holiday. Thanks Willie (my dear old schoolmate from English College Johor Bahru who has lived in Canberra for 40 years) for your generous hospitality.

My  rather fast-paced life started again upon my return home and I am glad I won't have to go to work until Tuesday 3rd January ( followed immediately by a working visit to Jogjakarta 5-8 January). Thursday was spent in my Putrajaya house which I had not gone to for nearly a month! I had phoned up Mehboob to clean up the garden and it was nice when I got there. The rainy season had ensured the plants  were doing well. I had ordered a bedroom set which was delivered in my absence and having looked at it I realised I could have spent a little more for quality! Cest la vie!

Leisurely morning on Friday followed by some site visits with my charge and then Friday prayers. Late afternoon my brother Long and wife from JB arrived to spend the night at my house. Later brother Wes and wife too arrived and after Maghrib prayers we all trooped down to SUBAK Restaurant at Sungai Pencala for our niece Nur Annanina's  (brother Ngah's daughter) wedding reception. She married American Michael (?) in the US last year and they have now settled down in Las Vegas. It was a most pleasant evening with good company, nice food and music. The best comment heard was the warm reunion of the four brothers. Alhamdullilah!

Long and Sis left at noon next day for their much-needed private holiday (destination Ipoh and Pangkor) amidst a hive of activity in my house with Ayu doing the internal cleaning and Irfan doing up the garden. I took Anna and Michael, and nephew Andreas for a Japanese lunch and they came home with me for coffee. Ayu and Irfan only left after five and I was really tired by then and still had to go to that new year event. Well that didn't happen thankfully.

2011 was a wonderful and great year for me though there were times when I felt so stressed out and pressured with my work responsibilities. They are all just memories now and in fact were the essential spices for my life. The private travels I undertook, though I would always include some official element in them  (Jogjakarta, Perth, Surabaya, Bandung, New Delhi and Canberra), in between these busy schedules, were the balm for my frenzied working life.

I am looking forward to a great 2012. Once again, happy new year everyone and God bless.

Happy New Year 2012

Happy New Year 2012 everyone. May you all have a great and fulfilling year ahead.

Penang-Johor Bahru-Singapore whirlwind

Whirlwind of a week! Early Wednesday morning flew to Penang for a meeting with the 'maestro'. Was home at 8.30pm!

Next day in the afternoon flew to JB and had a couple of hours walk in the old town, plus of course the compulsory visit to my tailor Mun Onn where I had another order of six batiks shirts to be made. Evening dinner and a meeting with the MB in 'Saujana' where I snapped the photos of our four past Sultans posted here. The MB was most cordial and pleasant, made me feel good to be a Johorean.

Next day after breakfast, was driven to Singapore, my very first entry into Singapore via the new CIQ (haven't entered Singapore by the Causeway in years - I simply dread it). Not all that efficient I must say and on the Singapore side the queue was long and very slow and tedious. And the young Malay woman at the immigration booth took like 20 minutes to clear some 7 passports of the car in front of mine and when it was our turn clearly showed she was trying to be overly-efficient and not in the least bit friendly (worst still the Malay women at the Changi airport immigration who cleared my passport and was totally impersonal and indifferent as she could possibly be- what's wrong with all the Singaporean Malays!!! Superiority complex or what? Big deal being immigration officers!). It took me 40 minutes to get through the Singapore immigration and customs! Talk about being welcomed and efficiency!!      

A two-hour visit to the Singapore National Museum  to see the "Dreams and Reality" exhibition brought all the way from Musee D'Orsay Paris (and a thorough briefing by American volunteer Helen who really knew her stuff). Then a rushed visit to our High Comm to say hello to my friend and colleague Hussein and I was off in a heavy downpour to the airport. Again home at 8.30 pm.

At last a free day to do my packing for my travel tomorrow night for 10-day holiday(finally) to Australia. Canberra here I come! 

Nostalgia Johor Bahru

I have just returned from a 24-hour visit to my old hometown Johor Bahru (JB) where I was born and bred. I left for University in KL in 1971 and had since never actually lived in JB again except the trips home during term breaks and the regular visits to my parents after I started working. Mother passed away in September 2006 and after my return to Malaysia in January last, I made one trip to JB for the annual family reunion and had never again ventured there till yesterday.

Short, very short as it was the visit was full of nostalgia. JB had grown so much but the old town still retains its charm, messy as it still is today! But it seems more compact and somewhat tidier. Lots of development going on, hopefully things will get better.  

I visited my parent's graves. Regretfully they are quite far apart and I had to drive from one to another. My father's grave had undergone a make-over and was newer and neater (he died in 1996). One of the marble tombstones of mother's grave (she passed on 1n 2006) was uprooted and I could not do much but leaned it against the box. I wish the Religious Department would do more for the upkeep of the cemetery. It is always terribly overgrown with weeds and the soil erosion is bad, and there was always heaps of rubbish here and there around the cemetery. Shame with all the financial resources they have they could not even make the effort to look after the place and upheld the dignity of the departeds' resting place.

I drove around to the neighbourhood where I lived with my parents in two different houses (Nong Chik government quarters) from the age of 6 to 20. They have all been razed to the ground to make way for newer development. And the family land in Air Molek is now used as a paid parking lot and some food stalls and gradually being squeezed by other development. My eldest brother Long is adamant about not selling it and making some arrangement for a joint-venture development. Well I hope the day will not come when the government will just make a compulsory acquisition of the land and we will all be under compensated of the land's actual value.

I also stopped briefly at my 'almer mather'  Maktab Sultan Abu Bakar (English College) where I studied from 1965-68 and took some photos and spoke to one of the teachers who promised to invite me to give a "motivational talk" to the students one day. 

Then there was the compulsory visit to my tailor "Mun On" at Jalan Trus. I had been patronizing that tailor since 1967 and nothing had changed about it, except those days I would pay RM3.50 to have a shirt made with my own material and today it is RM70! I still could not find another tailor who will do my short-sleeved batik shirt according to my liking as they do, that's why I kept going back to them all these forty years plus!!! Amazing isn't it! Anyway this time I deposited four batiks materials to be tailored and as a goodwill gesture they charged me only RM 60 per shirt! Hoong Po or Wan J will have to collect them and bring to KL once ready.

JB, oh JB! So nice to have a place to go back to and reminisce about all its goodness!