Some time ago I wrote about the same subject and got quite a reaction!
How does one really reconcile being unloved. Love comes in many forms and the need to be loved is quite overwhelming, probably more than the need to love. It's a sense of security to know that you are loved. Each person will have his/her priority whose love is most important to him/her. We can choose who we want to love but we cannot demand any particular person to love us. Love must come naturally, and sometimes love grows from knowing a person (love at first sight? Mmmm, am not so sure about that!).
Someone very close to me is still sometimes struggling with the knowledge that he was not loved as a child, and now as an adult, his mother at a ripe old age still openly shows preference to his other siblings. Coming from a big family, at a early age he was packed off to live with an elder brother, whose wife became a surrogate mother of sort. But when his father was old and sick, it was he who took care of him until the old man died - the very person who frequently proclaimed that he could not stand the sight of this son!
My young friend has now a family of his own, a beautiful wife and three lovely daughters. The way he and his daughters interact is "love personified". His children must at all time feel and have the love he never had as a child. He still tries to get close to his elderly mother but all efforts are rather in vain. He feels odd and disheartened when he calls her on the phone and and the response is akin to "what do you want?".
His mother has never been to his house and recently, knowing she was in town he organized a family gathering in her honour only to be shattered by the fact that his mother chose to visit another brother who had not made any arrangement at all. And when it comes to property matters, his siblings had been designated their share while he has not been given anything so far.
I kept advising my young friend to be patient, life is sometimes unfair and patience has its rewards. Just count other blessings. His love for his family and their love for him in return are already a reward. Parental love is something one can never demand. And I know of a few people who just do not have it from their parents, and it's hard and painful. But in Islam, filial piety is total, especially to a mother even if she is the most difficult mother you can possibly have. "Syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu - the door to paradise depends on your relationship with your mother" - no two way about it!
Which made me forever grateful that my parents, in their lifetime had showered me with all the love and support a son could possible want. Though in my younger days I was perhaps sometimes naive, stubborn or rebellious to know or accept it, though to other it was so obvious how much they loved me. Alhamdullilah, I was able to reciprocate their love in their lifetime. May Allah always bless their souls, amin.
'Kurniakan lah rahmat, bahagia ibu bapa ku,
Berikan hidayah pada hati yang tertutup...'
See video : http://youtu.be/e_soESI12Dg
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
1st January 2012 - post Canberra sojourn
Good morning world! And a happy new year 2012!May the new year bring lots of good tidings to all of us, and the world at large.
I was up early this morning, having gone to bed at 11pm and awakened at midnight with all the loud fireworks announcing the start of 2012. I was supposed to be at an official event ushering the new year but opted out at the 11th hour. I was just too tired and didn't think I could cope with the crowd and NOISE at the event. Just as well, and it was not the first time I spent new year eve alone and in bed!
I came home late Wednesday night after a 10-day most pleasant, quiet and food-laden holiday in Canberra, Australia. The quiet holiday was indeed a balm for my rather frenzied working life. I left Canberra 15 years ago after a two and half year posting and clearly it had not changed that much today. Excellent quality of life and services still prevailed and you get value-for-money on whatever you spent. Outsiders may find Canberra deathly boring but at this stage of my life I could live in Canberra if I had all the necessary personal infrastructures.Glad to catch up with friends Willie, Don, Mac, Tony, Nora and Halim, Zuraidah, Salman, Molly and Richard, etc. Regretfully, many had also gone away for Christmas and New Year holiday. Thanks Willie (my dear old schoolmate from English College Johor Bahru who has lived in Canberra for 40 years) for your generous hospitality.
My rather fast-paced life started again upon my return home and I am glad I won't have to go to work until Tuesday 3rd January ( followed immediately by a working visit to Jogjakarta 5-8 January). Thursday was spent in my Putrajaya house which I had not gone to for nearly a month! I had phoned up Mehboob to clean up the garden and it was nice when I got there. The rainy season had ensured the plants were doing well. I had ordered a bedroom set which was delivered in my absence and having looked at it I realised I could have spent a little more for quality! Cest la vie!
Leisurely morning on Friday followed by some site visits with my charge and then Friday prayers. Late afternoon my brother Long and wife from JB arrived to spend the night at my house. Later brother Wes and wife too arrived and after Maghrib prayers we all trooped down to SUBAK Restaurant at Sungai Pencala for our niece Nur Annanina's (brother Ngah's daughter) wedding reception. She married American Michael (?) in the US last year and they have now settled down in Las Vegas. It was a most pleasant evening with good company, nice food and music. The best comment heard was the warm reunion of the four brothers. Alhamdullilah!
Long and Sis left at noon next day for their much-needed private holiday (destination Ipoh and Pangkor) amidst a hive of activity in my house with Ayu doing the internal cleaning and Irfan doing up the garden. I took Anna and Michael, and nephew Andreas for a Japanese lunch and they came home with me for coffee. Ayu and Irfan only left after five and I was really tired by then and still had to go to that new year event. Well that didn't happen thankfully.
2011 was a wonderful and great year for me though there were times when I felt so stressed out and pressured with my work responsibilities. They are all just memories now and in fact were the essential spices for my life. The private travels I undertook, though I would always include some official element in them (Jogjakarta, Perth, Surabaya, Bandung, New Delhi and Canberra), in between these busy schedules, were the balm for my frenzied working life.
I am looking forward to a great 2012. Once again, happy new year everyone and God bless.
I was up early this morning, having gone to bed at 11pm and awakened at midnight with all the loud fireworks announcing the start of 2012. I was supposed to be at an official event ushering the new year but opted out at the 11th hour. I was just too tired and didn't think I could cope with the crowd and NOISE at the event. Just as well, and it was not the first time I spent new year eve alone and in bed!
I came home late Wednesday night after a 10-day most pleasant, quiet and food-laden holiday in Canberra, Australia. The quiet holiday was indeed a balm for my rather frenzied working life. I left Canberra 15 years ago after a two and half year posting and clearly it had not changed that much today. Excellent quality of life and services still prevailed and you get value-for-money on whatever you spent. Outsiders may find Canberra deathly boring but at this stage of my life I could live in Canberra if I had all the necessary personal infrastructures.Glad to catch up with friends Willie, Don, Mac, Tony, Nora and Halim, Zuraidah, Salman, Molly and Richard, etc. Regretfully, many had also gone away for Christmas and New Year holiday. Thanks Willie (my dear old schoolmate from English College Johor Bahru who has lived in Canberra for 40 years) for your generous hospitality.
My rather fast-paced life started again upon my return home and I am glad I won't have to go to work until Tuesday 3rd January ( followed immediately by a working visit to Jogjakarta 5-8 January). Thursday was spent in my Putrajaya house which I had not gone to for nearly a month! I had phoned up Mehboob to clean up the garden and it was nice when I got there. The rainy season had ensured the plants were doing well. I had ordered a bedroom set which was delivered in my absence and having looked at it I realised I could have spent a little more for quality! Cest la vie!
Leisurely morning on Friday followed by some site visits with my charge and then Friday prayers. Late afternoon my brother Long and wife from JB arrived to spend the night at my house. Later brother Wes and wife too arrived and after Maghrib prayers we all trooped down to SUBAK Restaurant at Sungai Pencala for our niece Nur Annanina's (brother Ngah's daughter) wedding reception. She married American Michael (?) in the US last year and they have now settled down in Las Vegas. It was a most pleasant evening with good company, nice food and music. The best comment heard was the warm reunion of the four brothers. Alhamdullilah!
Long and Sis left at noon next day for their much-needed private holiday (destination Ipoh and Pangkor) amidst a hive of activity in my house with Ayu doing the internal cleaning and Irfan doing up the garden. I took Anna and Michael, and nephew Andreas for a Japanese lunch and they came home with me for coffee. Ayu and Irfan only left after five and I was really tired by then and still had to go to that new year event. Well that didn't happen thankfully.
2011 was a wonderful and great year for me though there were times when I felt so stressed out and pressured with my work responsibilities. They are all just memories now and in fact were the essential spices for my life. The private travels I undertook, though I would always include some official element in them (Jogjakarta, Perth, Surabaya, Bandung, New Delhi and Canberra), in between these busy schedules, were the balm for my frenzied working life.
I am looking forward to a great 2012. Once again, happy new year everyone and God bless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)